A is for Apple

OK, OK. I am back. I made excuse after excuse for keeping this process on pause – seems to be the theme, after all. I am done with excuses and ready to push play.

The longer I put something off, the harder it is to jump back on. I know I can’t possibly be the only person who does this, so I will assume that all is forgiven and I have no need to list for anyone the convincingly logical reasons behind my absence. Not that I was missed, but since the idea of accountability is one that is meant to motivate me here, I have tricked myself into believing that this is being read by someone other than me.

Yes, I read my own blog.

I have survived pregnancy, childbirth, and am now enthusiastically caught up in the whirlwind that takes the shape of a very petite and vocal three-month-old human being. If I thought I had a hundred viable excuses for not doing what I should or could before, I now have at least a million. That being said, it is time to start tuning out those voices and begin to conquer once again.

Drifting off to sleep…

Middle of the night feedings…

Sucking wind on the treadmill…

These are the moments that my finest and most well-intentioned voices speak to me. I write entire chapters to a book that is beginning (still…) to play itself out beautifully. I redesign my career and where I want to be utilizing my gifts five years from now. I plan the next two weeks of workouts needed to speed this ridiculously tedious process of losing the baby weight (although she weighed a mere 6 and ½ pounds, making it difficult to use that term without feeling like a total idiot). And I begin my blog again and again and again, fulfilling the promise to myself to write everyday. If only these moments would transcend themselves… They never get any further than my thoughts.

One. Step. At. A. Time.

I’ve been told I give pretty good advice and one of my favorite tools of motivation (second to screaming in someone’s face) has been to convince people to start small. Each day, make a single new change. Drink water today, go for a 15-minute walk tomorrow, clean out your linen closet on Saturday. Not long ago, someone offered me the same advice. Somehow it sounded more reasonable coming from…..well, not me. I have never started anything small in my life. This continues to be the reason there has been much that I haven’t started at all. The less I do, the less I do. It is a vicious cycle. As Dr. Phil would say, “How is that workin’ for ya?” Rhetorical. Obviously.

I’m open to change (even in tiny bits) and to the idea that with each day that I embrace it, a better me will emerge. Let’s put this theory to the test. A-Z. Not all in one day anymore, but one a day. Like an apple.

Eating one now. Check.